have i always been contradicting myself?

i nvr would have thought that i would contradict myself, but today… i just did. was chatting with nesty.. and i thought i have always wanted to be in a r/s, but i just contradicted myself today. as much as i wanted to be in one, i was also grateful that i’m not in one. how silly but true.. and guess what, i’m not the only one making such statements LOL  so yea, ultimately is ur prespective towards the issue, like i always said… so i will be looking into the perspective of being single ^^

yesterday during the grad. video, i fumbled alot… sorry guys, nervous i suppose, and chirs if u see this, dun put any of it as bloopers lehs, i will super paiseh de lehs =/ so yea, after tt went to mac, my groupies all left so i felt weird so i msged BTSS. good thing he is home… haha, went to the void deck and SLACK… LOL talked quite abit and he punched me again and i poked him also =.= and i had my revenge ^^ den he kept pulling he’s pants and look super retarded attempted to video him in the process but he didnt want to. and the video i just viewed yesterday looks damm funny, haha. but i wont post it up cux i’m not tt bad haha. den he talked abt he’s classmates and i feel like remaining in where i am now, cux there are many mean mean peple out there… argh.. why so mean… i feel really protected in the four walls of east spring now… but i hope where i’m going would have minimal amount of such people, cux there’s bound to have such people, no doubt… i just hope i dun know any of them, or become any of their targets.. but u cant get the whole world to love u can u… i’m not sure… well, we’ll take one step at a time den..

later gonna find BTSS and he’ll pass me the anti FRIZZ thingy… forgetful old man… would be slacking again till mayb 230 den go find the guys, i’m so gonna watch WALL.e TODAY! and i’m gonna eat beard papa again.. TEEHEE~! sinful but i dun care, i dun need to look good for anyone ^^ i’ll just be self contented and be merry me ^^

alright, i’ll end here… bye~

lack of updates…

sorry for the lack of updates… will do a short summary of the past few days…

let’s start off with tues.. met up with XY at 1230. went to cityhall… went to eat at KFC marina^2 , horrible experience, can ask either of us… either he’s a stalker or it’s us… nevertheless he gives me the creeps… den walked ard, saw that shop full of clocks… it’s very very gorgous can… but it cost like 700bucks… no way my dad will agree to tat.. went into another one, saw a table clock… 129bucks… will buy that once i start working… it’s super cool and it matches the colour room =) den walked to suntec, thank god the foodfair hasnt started, cux it;s like the following day, so i was like XY heng not today, if not i’ll be eating again…LOL den walked to converse bought the shoes, on the way there decided to take picture of a ‘gift’ but forgotten when we left.. den went to raffles city went to b1 haha, we ate beard papa.. cream puff, it’s damm nice u guys should try, though SGD$2.20 but it’s definately worth the money, if i had more cash on me i’ll buy more… =.= den went sat at the fountain area had our food… felt thristy.. went into market place, woah~ if given the chance i dun mind shopping there, alot of stuffs not found in normal supermarkets… and yea, it’s super cold we were pratically freezing in there, so quickly bought our drink and left. and yea, XY bought her snadals from new urbanmale… den yea, time check still have half an hour, so we walked all the way back to get my dear fren he’s ‘gift’ why so, cux it’s in the form of a video haha… den went back… forgotten what happened next…

yesterday, chatted with terry b4 he went off… den i lazed ard, got ready den met up with sk and the rest.. dress code for tt day = street haha… den erm… pooled lah.. ok fine i broke tt promise for myself, i couldnt keep my itchy hands away from pool. so yea, only couldnt win SK… argh… nvm… with him dunno why is too stress one lo.. =.= or was i complacent. so since i dun think terry would be there so i went home lor. basket, later he told me he go there.. nvm, after Os.. and this time i swear, with Os less den two months away, for my future my sake, i will keep away from it, with my strongest determination, so if u are my fren please dun ask me to pool anymore until the end of Os,deeply appreciated with the help.. =) so yea, home-ed parents home already… scare me i tot i will reach first… so anyways, went online den haopengyou called, talked for more den two soild hours can… what are the content i also forget already, must be xian liao-ing cux yea, dun rmb any of it =/ or mayb i was zombie-fied LOL. msg awhile den slept.. woke up groggy, mum asking me to go M’sia, didnt want to as i got some graduation thingy to attend later, so yea… dunno what else den fell back asleep.. woke up at 8plus 7? no one was at home by den… left ke lian de wo… =( have to fix my own breakfast… and speaking of which i haven washed yet and dun intend to =/ later lunch also must fix myself… bothersome =.= mayb i’ll skip it… save me the trouble… right.. i’ll get going now, needa finish my tuition homework.. due at 3 LOL.. bb

once again, sorry for the lack of updates… might not blog as often… but will do a summary i suppose… =)

Janice – Never Let You Go

The rain just never seems to bring
The joy I feel the same.
Everlasting pain of my loss remains.

My heart can’t seem to learn to part
The hold you left you mark.
All that I dreamed of now it seems so stark.

Though I told myself won’t hold my breath
a part of me was dying.
There is nothing left for me to do now.
But give in.

If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling.
I would sing to you and tell you I won’t
Live my life without you.

If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling.
I would hold your hand and look in your eyes.
And you know I’d never let you go.

The way you left me on the train.
I don’t know what to say.
I remember everything of that day

I can’t believe we’d never dance
I just need one more chance
To share the sunset our one last romance

Though I told myself won’t hold my breath
a part of me was dying.
There is nothing left for me to do now.
But give in.

If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling.
I would sing to you and tell you I won’t
Live my life without you.

If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling.
I would hold your hand and look in your eyes.
And you know I’d never let you go.

If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling.
I would sing to you and tell you I won’t
Live my life without you.

If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling.
I would hold your hand and look in your eyes.
And you know I’d never let you go.

Taio Cruz She’s Like A Star Lyrics

She’s my everything,
Like a morning girl,
She’s my angel, up above my world,
she’s the only one, who understands me,
That’s why I call her, my new fan league

[Pre Chorus]
she’s the only one that I want by my side,
She’s the only one that I believe can save my life,
She makes me want to be a better man for a while (hey)
She’s higher than the sky, the sun and the moon,

[Chorus]
She’s like a star,
(Like a star, like a star)
Ooh baby she’s like a star,
(Like a star, like a star)
Ooh baby she’s like a star,
(Like a star, like a star)
Ooh baby she’s like a star,
(Like a star, like a star)

First let me say, she’s the best of me,
Is it cliche To say she’s destiny,
There’s no one else but her, well least for me,
That’s exactly why, I must now
repeat, that…

[Pre Chorus]

[Rap Section]
She’s my star my light, starry night,
Aviator shades cause she shines so bright,
Beats on the G5, songs I write, Just so I
can take her on take them G5 flights,
Yeah she’s my type, just my height,
She’s my fit, she’s just right,
She’s like I think we might,
Go far, I’m like you right,
Cos she could be my angel wings,
Her voice sounds like an angel sings,
Yeah I be back with the trademark strings,
Just tryina compliment the sound she brings,
She’s like we could go far, I’m like you, you, you are,
I’m like you, you, you are,
You are my, guiding star.

[Chorus]

31.08.08

woke up early this morning cux i slept late last night… 330am due to someone lor… call me wake up LOL so yea… that silly one keep hiting his head on the table and had to put a book there as protection LOL so anyways woke up at 8plus but decided to sleep till 930. went to bath and mum asked me to follow her to whitesands and since i was meeting yk and btss there, jiu follow lo… went to had breakfast with mum and family… then they came, went to put concessions and cash in the EZlink card(they gonna aborlish this card system early next year -.-) den met with btss first.. kinda blind… walk pass me somemore =.= den went to wait for yk(ps. once i saw him i laughed real hard. no offence but u look like u were wearing a helmet.. i know u will go like whatever… haha… jk lah), he’s 5min is so not 5min lah… den they hungry jiu go in eat.. kopitiam… my mum was still there, she was kinda shock at my company… LOL(when i came back qns-ing as usual, but zai jian le hai shi peng you ma right.. and i’m not anti-social) btss commented that my mum looked fierce LOL so yea, they ate i watched… den we headed to hougang interchange for the free shuttle… reached there, went to walk ard, see some of the planes, long queue u know… den watched how fast the officers arm the plane, i think less den 5 mins? it was raining like mad and we didnt have umbrella so i was pratically drenched and i had to use the magazine they gave as umbrella so my head was dry but the rest was wet =.= went to eat (ps. i ate a lot today =.=) den walked ard a little jiu go back tampines… oh yea.. throughout the trip there btss and yk keep bullying me lah… so wth lor… nvm.. i had my fair share of poking them.. just that btss had a bigger share and yk wanted his share too and started to di siao me by poking me =.= too bad my reaction not as huge as btss LOL so yea, went to tampinese with btss, yk went to meet his family for bowling (argh jealous… nvm after my Os it’s my turn haha) so yea, went to the toilet library de.. den went to converse where we were meeting mini muscle boy haha. saw the shoe i wanted 50plus dollar sia.. nvm.. next time den buy.. so went walking ard den went to tm to have my hagan daz ice cream.. so bloody ex lor i tell u, i think swensen’s cheaper but they dun carry macademia nut flavour. so yea, called for bill.. so bloody slow service lah, once you are done with the ice cream and called for bill… problematic no reciept etc =.= one word SLOW. den went back to TM cux mini muscle boy wants to buy thing den after we were done went back to cs ate dinner couldnt finish to nice btss and muscle boy helped me haha… went back to tm after that(oh ya, the poking and punching still continued =.= oh by den btss has gotten two scratch marks by me, though he’s nail are 2times longer den mine haha) some where in between we went to eat octopus ball, dun quite rmb and i drop my phone while eating it, went sorta crazy keep blacking out =.= got better now… went to the open plaza slacked that’s where round two started… cux btss say tired ma, and my poking keeps him alert and awake. and suddenly for no reason he tried to restraint my hands… and being me i will struggle free and wan to poke him.. den we both struggled and since our strength were abt the same none of us won… and btss knocked himself against the railings and therefore, the round ended.. and the people there started to smoke like there’s no tml so yea, i asked them to go, dun wanna torture myself… so walked ard went to popluar den btss wanna look for the candidates for his FFP test lol den i needed the loo, so went there den after that they decided to go to mac outside to slack.. so yea, went there.. not exactly to slack lah… end up taking alot of pictures haha… but deleted alot also.. some really funny like btss trying to rot in one of the pictures. super halirious but he knows i’ll upload it so therefore they were all being deleted =( i’ll load them up later… have them in my laptop but i wan to load it into picasa.. so yea… after all of that we decided to go back… oh btw, all the poking and punching didnt end there =.= it went on… btss being kind pei me take bus ^^ and mini muscle boy being nice also decided to pei us wait for bus.. haha.. den btss ask how mini muscle boy is going back home he said take ‘bus 11′ lo.. immediately i knew what he meant but btss tot he really meant bus 11 and ask mini muscle boy where bus 11 is LOL. so me being kind, started explaining to him. and they girl infornt of us started giggling to herself. lol and btss flushed with embarrassment. so went back home on the bus, that sickening btss decided to have round 3 =.= and i believe everyone in the bus could see us =.= i think i made a fool of myself but i didnt think much of it den =.= so we stopped only after he recieved a msg but continued. that was half time… only when he nearly fell off the seat did we actually stop… so yea, forgotten what happened den this asshole… =.= before he went down he punched me again and ran down =.= i’ll take my revenge, mark my words ^^ den went home… and here i am bloggin cux btss wants me to update =.=

alright.. now for the shortlisted pictures, the rest u can view it at the album…

group photo 01 (i think there’s something with mini muscle boy’s eyes haha, hence i’m fixing it…)

group photo 02 (something wrong with btss’s mouth, therefore i’m fixing it again ^^)

group photo 03 (i’m the most decent looking one haha!)

ME: hey you btss! dun think u punch me i scared hor… i can still poke hor! BTSS: whatever lah…

nicest photo for the night =) silly but nice lo…

most decent looking picture for the both of us…

mini muscle boy looks like he’s selling himself and er.. for myself i not that sure haha.

lastly, silly silly looking us =.=

kk that will be all, i’ll end here now.. till den… nights my blog fanatics haha.. =/

PS. my phone number is spoilt, please get the other no. from me, will update again if i’m using the old no again once i call singtel up…

the rest please view from the album xie xie..

31.08 btss and glenn

hurting?

想太多是我还是你
我很不服气
也开始怀疑
眼前的人是不是同一个真实的你

concurrently, there are many things that are running through my thoughts… some of which i dunno how to respond to, some of which leaves me puzzled. sometimes i wish i could just put everything down, and just go for a holiday, to bali, hawaii, new zealand, which ever, i just wan a break away from this place, be it alone or with others. the attitude of some people are tremedously disgusting… and i meant it disgust me… other people i have no idea…i dun like sudden changes… and i feel this change is too much for me to take… i meant it… i have ppl making nasty remarks abt me even before they knew me…. what could i expect, i have been badly scrutinised by many people since i was in primary sch… do my friends cherish the friendship i share with them? sometimes i really felt that i was being taken for granted and that all this was 理所当然的事。honestly it feels bad… really bad… any close friends to call my own.. i dunno… i guess i have none… not even one to be able to have a heart to heart talk with, and that i feel comfortable sharing with… guess BEST friends are hard to find… all the other friends will leave you in one point of ur life i suppose… i’ve been exposed to so many kind of friendship… from longlasting ones… to short lived ones…. longlasting ones… we have sort of drifted a little… i think with distance being the next issue.. i will be long forgotten once i moved…. and as the shortlived ones… i have seriously nothing to say… all but it’s your lost….

now that i long for someone, i wouldnt wan to be in one… i think it’s not the right time for this yet… firstly it wouldnt last… secondly… i dun think i’m ready for it yet…. neither have i met one that i think is right for me… alright enough of this crap…

there are times where i totally hate myself… for the things i have done… i was wondering if i didnt reacted that way, if i didnt do that, if i cherished, would everything have a altogether different ending? if yes what would it be… this are also next to what puzzles me… probably i’m just the silly next door girl whom ,fortunately or unfortunately, everyone forgets… i just wan something long lasting… be it friends or partner… for now, all i wan are friends who i can count on for life, who are willing to be there for me…listen to me… have fun with me… nevertheless also to be their bestest friend who they feel comforable with everything… is it too much to ask for?? i dunnno

as i ponder to myself….

i guess everything that happens has it’s own individual purpose… and it’s whether or not i know/can tell what it’s purpose is…

hyped?

well, today was teacher’s day celebration…. had first 4periods of lessons more like free time =.= firstly no one was interested in studying.. .secondly, it was too noisy with the activities going on downstairs… so yea, i went only with my pencil case LOL…

hmm, the concert was soso only, nothing too fantastic abt it… but i’m no where any better so yea, i’ll keep my comments to myself… well, i did have fun entertaining myself today… and bad bad HJ had to dampen my mood by saying i was mad =( she went, u today siao ah… do all the funny funny things… sad lor.. nothing to do ma, den had alot of energy… no where else to channel it to but to entertain myself lor.. haha.. one thing i did similar to last night was that i was playing superman or superwoman rather… and no one wanna pei me and play argh… so nvm lor.. i fly myself haha. crazily stupid but well, i’m happy =) that’s all that matters… nothing matters as much to me den my own happiness, maybe my education too lah… depending lah… haha… did a whole load of other random and yet crazy stuffs. but whatever.. haha.. so yea… sent HJ home, cux it was so early and i had nth to do… so since i mention i had nth to do, we went to her void deck sit awhile while i eat, Prima deli’s chicken pie and the rainbow ice cream xD i love the milky taste… so when i was done, i sent her to the lobby and she watch me leaving.. lol… like some tv drama and we were couples haha.. lame… and uberly random… so yea, having too much time on hand u will walk back to TPJC and take bus… lol went home… comp-ed till 3, went to sleep till 3.15 jumped up and headed for tuition LOL i scared i late, but nah, just 8min late.. flexi timing anyway… so = me not late ^^ today better… no one there, he can concentrate more on me… and he said i took way too long more den 2hours for one paper =/ will improve… den went home at i forgotten the time LOL… i felt i had too much energy in my veins so i decided to walk home… so i decided to see the time and the place once i decided to walk home.. so it was Elias Road, 6pm =) so started walking =) walk halfway i received a phone call from BTSS.. i was wondering why he called.. so it was becux he was walking home and had nth better to do.. =.= but well, since i was walking home also so i talked to him lor… ke lian de ta.. have to rot there with glenn… haha for 4 hours… can u imagine that… siao lor… LOL ok so he being nice decided to sit downstairs and wait for me to reach my house den he go home LOL yea, and he said he for some unknown reason can talk more to me den to the group he went out with today LOL what does that mean… I’M SUPER SOCIABLE xD teehee! oh right so after we hung up i looked at the time 6.38pm… what u expect, far u know… so today had been a rather walky day for me.. suddenly i miss trekking and biking =( i rmb going with someone.. but haiya, wont happen again… cux of some unforeseen reason. and my friends now are more towards the indoory side.. so maybe after i made a new set of friends maybe? i dunno… I WANT TO BE ACTIVE AGAIN !!! after my Os maybe?

my holidays are rather packed already… dun wan to stuff more activities inside… so yea.. done for today… nights ^^

evidences ^^

will post more lyrics the next time ard… haha.. dun wanna bombard u guys with too many…

just now went back to sch again… sign the dumb thingy for dnt.. den went back cux terry go play bball ma.. den got those e2 dat i dunno so nvr go with them… went home and started packing a little bit.. all the photos.. haha. alot of hilarious ones… eg my dad dressing up as a female, i’m so gonna show him later and laugh HAHA. so old still play this kind of thing… den i saw alot of pictures of me when i was younger… really felt like we were really pampered when we were more financially stable… well, i’ve uploaded it on Picasa… u guys can view it yea. if u like, no obligations… =) these are my evidences to prove that i am cute ok.. later i’ll post one up ^^ den u all have to agree with me, i dun care if i’m being thick-skined to you.. but that’s reality ^^

when i was younger.. ^^

right.. i’m going out later… to pool yet again =.= mayb i dun wanna play so sian lo.. i rather slack mans haha alrighty.. i’ll end again cux i forgotten what i wanted to blog abt haha… b4 i blogged i had a lot in mind.. but once i’m here, it’s all empty…

so yea.. enjoy the picture of mini-me =D

updated: just came back not long… pool was fun today… OWNAGE.. haha was on the wining streak… haha after i won kjm, i won nest, and after nest was yus… woohoo. xD only sk… if not total ownage sia… as they said what goes up must come down.. that’s life… den the last game with yus i super bu fu lor.. he go put the black ball at the loubang there… =.= and my red ball is just on top… -,- had a hard time moving it away lor, and by the time i could get rid of it, yus scored everything le lor… no fair… if the black ball wasnt there i could have won a long long long time ago lor… even he win also not happy.. cux he knew without that ball there, i would have won LOL
alrighty.. i’ve loaded it on Picasa.. lazy post the link.. find it urself, mayb i will link it up tml or something ^^

i wann my iPHONE!

sorry for the late post… wasnt feeling very much like blogging yesterday =/ and it’s only like 10am now… so bored…

today was just sci paper 1 which i think was ok… not too hard nor was it easy…

went to study yesterday or rather attempted to… didt work out so yea… went to eat and stuffs etc.. some ppl are just so spoilt can… where’s the value/importance of money.. gosh… nvm… nothing to do with me, shouldnt care…

today marks the end of prelims and i’m so not looking forward for sch holiday to end.. reason being… i think it’s very clear and i dun have to mention it… for one week i have to be back in sch for 3 days… but other den that… yea pretty much free =) things i wanna do during the holidays… watch wall.e, go to the airshow, meet up with pri sch mates… and hmms.. wait for ppl to jio le ba… haha.. cant handle too many things at hand…

alright.. shall end here =)

uh-uh-uh… all the kaypohs… haha.. JKJK

gonna wait for xin and ask her to come out ^^

You try to gain my trust
Talking is not enough
Actions speak louder than words
You gotta show me something
My heart is missing some pieces
I need this puzzle put together again

Can you fix my h-e-a-r-t?
Cause it d-a-m-a-g-e-d?

small extract taken from DANITY KANE

So Contagious- Acceptance

Oh no, this couldn’t be more unexpected
And I can tell I’ve been moving in so slow
Don’t let it throw you off too far
Cause I’ll be running right behind you

Could this be out of line? (Could this be out of line?)
To say you’re the only one breaking me down like this
You’re the only one I would take a shot on
Keep me hanging on so contagiously

Oohhh, when I’m around you I’m predictable
Cause I believe in loving you at first sight
I know it’s crazy but I’m hoping to..
To take a hold of you

Could this be out of line? (Could this be out of line?)
To say you’re the only one breaking me down like this
You’re the only one I would take a shot on
Keep me hanging on so contagiously

Oh you’re everything I’m wanting
Come to think of it, I’m aching
On account of my transgression..
Will you welcome this confession?

Could this be out of line? (Could this be out of line?)
To say you’re the only one breaking me down like this
You’re the only one I would take a shot on
Keep me hanging on so contagiously

Could this be out of line? (Could this be out of line?)
To say you’re the only one breaking me down like this
You’re the only one I would take a shot on
Keep me hanging on so contagiously